1 Music Lyrics

Mitsubishi Colt Music Lyrics

Tim Minchin

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He looks at me intensely
Contact lens green with artifical envy
Cocks his head and fixes me with a condescending stare
Flicks his bleached, blond tipped hair
And theorises thus

You know what I reckon?
Pause for effect
Adjusts his tackle as if it�s semi-erect
I feel I�d better give him what I know he expects
What do you reckon?

A hand on the shoulder
An avuncular wink
Sips his lemon drink
Spits out the pips
Hands on hips
Licks his lips
Like a wolf near a flock
Yet again adjusting his fantasy cock
He delivers his philosophy

I reckon it don�t matter
It don�t mean squat
What you earn or what you got
Or the style of your hair
Or what you wear
It matters not

Like what do you care
That I live on a hill with views of the beach
That my chick and my dogs have an en-suite bathroom each
That I�ve already reached my first million and I�m only 26

You�re as thick as two bricks
If you think you can fix
What is broke in your life with money
And the funny thing is
And I shit you not
That I�d give it all up like that

He leaves me to ponder his wisdom for a bit
And with a click of his fingers
Beckons the blondest, bimbo-est barmaid
And grinning ridiculously
Orders a G and T
And a beer, for me
And before I can escape
He�s back saying

Cos mate, the thing is
All of that crap
It�s all superficial
It�s all just a front
Anyone can be a rich cunt
But the thing we all want
Can�t be bought with dosh
You know what I mean boss?
Cos you don�t give a toss
That when I want to get slim
I�ve got my own private gym
And a personal trainer called Danielle or Darlene
She�s got tits
Like those chicks
In Ralph magazine

And it�s not like you care
That I own the controlling share
Of an overseas company
That builds accounting software
It matters not one bit
I mean who gives a shit
That I earn six hundred grand
And drive a brand new land rover
You know I would hand it all over like that

He pauses for a beat
Long enough for me to retreat to a seat
And sit, elbow on the bar
And contemplate this guru
With his white teeth and big car
And ponder silently my belief
That genius comes in many a form
And that this postulating, peroxided porn-star prick ain�t one of them

My specultaion cut short
As he reforms
Like Terminator II
And before I have time to abort
He descends upon me and snorts

I guess what I�m trying to say
In my own little way
Is that I reckon that musos and artists and that
Well I reckon they�re great
I know some people reckon you guys just sit on your bums
And don�t get out of bed til the pizza man comes
And smoke cones
And take crack
And wack-off all day
But I don�t care what they say
And I don�t listen to people
Who say that all actors are gay
Not that I don�t think that�s OK
As far as I�m concerned
Although it�s not my bag
If you wanna be a fag
Be a fag y�know?
Who am I to say
Where you come
And where you go
In the privacy of your own homo
Ha ha
Homo
Ha ha
Homo
Ha ha
He�s shitting me now

And my eyes start to glaze
And through the haze of my anger
I notice his G and T is gone
And he�s starting to dribble
As he dribbles on and fucking on
But you musos are alright
I don�t know much about music
But I know what I like
And I reckon I�d throw it all in
To be like you Jim
I mean you might be poor in monetary terms
But what you earn spiritually
What makes you what you are
Just means so much more
Than what you earn from a really nice car
Or a tennis court
Or holidays in Greece
Or a house on the beach
Or stock market shares
Or twenty-one pairs
Of Calvin Klein undewear
Do you understand you are a wealthy, wealthy man
I mean I don�t want to piss in your pocket
But i�ve gotta say
Before I get on my way
That honestly, and I�m not having you on
I reckon on day you could play the piano as good as Elton John

The cops are still mingling
Though the crowd�s shuffled out
I�ve got ice on my hand
Where my fist met his mouth
And although I explained
That it wasn�t my fault
I�ve a five hundred buck fine
For aggravated assault
So before it gets worse
I reckon I�ll bolt
A wealthy, wealthy man
In a 1981 Mitsubishi Colt

Tim Minchin - Mitsubishi Colt Music Lyrics

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