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A Little Priest Music Lyrics

Stephen Sondheim

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MS. LOVETT:
Seems a downright shame�

TODD (spoken):
Shame?

MS. LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste�
Such a nice plump frame
Wots his name has
Had�has�
Nor he can't be traced
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift, as a gift
If you get my drift
Seems and awful waste

I mean...with the price of meat wot it is
When you get it, if you get it

TODD:
Ah�

MS. LOVETT:
Good you got it
Take for instance Ms. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better using only pussy cats and toast
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste

(simultaneously)

TODD:
Ms. Lovett, what a charming notion
Eminently practical

MS. LOVETT:
Well it does seem a waste!

TODD:
And yet appropriate as always
Ms. Lovett, how I've lived without you all these years
I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!

MS. LOVETT:
Think about it
Lots of other gentlemen'll soon be coming in for a shave
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

TODD:
How choice!
How rare!

For what's the sound of the world out there?

MS. LOVETT:
What Mr. Todd, what Mr. Todd
What is that sound?

TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!

MS. LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd, Yes Mr. Todd
Yes all around

TODD:
It's man devouring man, my dear!

BOTH:
Then who are we to deny it in here?

TODD (spoken):
These are desperate times, Ms. Lovett
And desperate measures are called for

MS. LOVETT:
Here we are. Hot out of the oven

TODD:
What is that?

MS. LOVETT:
Its priest
Have a little priest

TODD:
Is it really good?

MS. LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good, at least
Then again they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh

TODD:
Awful lot of fat

MS. LOVETT:
Only where it sat

TODD:
Haven't you got poet or something like that?

MS. LOVETT:
No you see the trouble with poet
Is how do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!

Lawyer's rather nice

TODD:
If it's for a price

MS. LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice

TODD:
Anything that's lean?

MS. LOVETT:
Well then if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy royal marine
Anyway it's clean
Though of course it tastes of wherever it's been!

TODD:
Is that squire on the fire?

MS. LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice its grocer!

TODD:
Looks thicker, more like vicar

MS. LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer
It's green!

TODD:
The history of the world, my love

MS. LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors

TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!

MS. LOVETT:
Everybody shaves so there should be plenty of flavors

TODD:
How gratifying for once to know

BOTH:
That those above will serve those down below

TODD (spoken):
What is that?

MS. LOVETT:
It's fop
Finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherds pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun
Is the politician so oily it's served with a doily?
Have one!

TODD:
Put it on a bun
Well you never know if it's going to run!

MS. LOVETT:
Try the friar!
Fried, it's drier!

TODD:
No!
The clergy is really too coarse and too mealy!

MS. LOVETT:
Then actor!
It's compacter!

TODD:
Ah, but always arrives overdone
(spoken) I'll come again when you have judge on the menu

Have charity towards the world, my pet!

MS. LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love

TODD:
We'll take the customers that we can get!

MS. LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love!

TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone

(simultaneously)

MS. LOVETT:
We'll serve anyone!

TODD:
Meaning anyone!

BOTH:
And to anyone
At all!

Stephen Sondheim - A Little Priest Music Lyrics

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